Today I feel compelled  to write about ABUSE ,a term many have heard/know of but seldom understand.I see a lot of people intrigued by your life,they want to know, the tingling in their tastebuds to build up another gossip session is too intense.
We live in a society where we judge others by our own parameters.

This is an appeal to all such people,if someone you know is struggling and you wish to help ,which one must , 1st and foremost learn that there are certain Do’s n dont’s to follow.

1.Never judge their story wearing your rose tinted glasses.They might be doing their best to cope with the difficult situation.

2.Never tell the victim (a woman here ) that it’s NORMAL for men to do that & that the victim hurt their male ego. And if you are a woman yourself ,you are equally responsible for building a wrong narrative for others to follow.Two wrongs do not make a right.She might be dealing with a huge emotional setback in life ,trying to come to terms with it and your insensitivity will increase her pain of being disregarded by her own female friends which she must have thought would empathise with her situation.
Incase, the victim is a man,for God’s sake,Never make fun of him ,imposing the so called defination of him being a super human.A man can be equally sensitive ,kindhearted ,emotional and be Abused.For them its even more difficult to open up.So if they do, give them a patient hearing .By being insensitive towards him ,cracking jokes of him being dominated by a woman , you are being an ally to the abuser ,knowingly or unknowingly.

Hear them  out it is You who wanted to help .

3.Never say,”If its so bad why dont you just leave”?First learn what ABUSE”is.If it was so easy any sane person would never continue living such a tormented existence. All you can do is listen .Once the victim feels understood , the confidence starts rebuilding ,slowly try and help them to get a hold of their life.

4.Always remember ABUSE messes up the most intelligent people with the strongest minds.By the time one realises ,they are too deep into it.
There is a survival mechanism in the brain and the nervous system that betray our intellectual mind when coping with an abusive relationship.The brain freezes ,Yes ~thats the defence mechanism at work to save the person relive the pain from the repeated abuse.

5.Victims are not stupid people.They are dealing with one of the most terrifying experiences from the closest of human bonds that are suppossed to actually protect them and be their support system.

6.Oh!if it’s so bad ,how can you be so happy,dressed so well all the time?
You are saying,a Victim has to cry out aloud,in tattars to prove he/she is abused?
The victim has a right to steal a few moments from life and smile,don’t you think so?

7.After one has shared their story with you,which is always keep in mind,an extremly difficult step and needs a lot of courage to speak up,your close proximity to the abuser proves you are nullifying the victims pain right then and there and justyfying the ABUSE !

8.Next time you want to be a Messiah in someone’s life ,make sure you know what you are dealing with.You may be the reason the agony of a sufferring,tired ,battered soul increases manifolds.

Daisyraj Singh ?

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