LOVE:The most beautiful yet the most misunderstood emotion!

When two people fall in love ,what is it that makes them choose each other?
The physical attributes, the nature …a personality that resonates with theirs or is it something else I wonder!
Something is so attractive…it’simpossible to stay apart for a fleeting moment even…then suddenly it all changes,why?

The butterflies in your stomach move on  to become a “choking blinder “!!!

Let’s see why :

a)When you are a couple,does it mean that all your other relationships are to be put to rest.Learn to respect The person and his/her circle as they are and not as you percieve them to be.Each relationship is important and holds a special place in one’s life.

b)Being possessive is fine but behaving “possessed” is insane.Being possessive does not mean you possess the other as a TROPHY of your yet another accomplishment.
You don’t decide how many breathes /min your trophy takes.
Be madly in love,yet allow the person the space and dignity to be totally at ease and to breathe.
Love is where you are at your most natural self,no pretentions,no fear ,just a smooth flow of life.

c)Being together is a beautiful feeling when you are just there for each other, when you understand the silence,when you don’t judge ,doubt or accuse….rather when you are ‘The’ home for the soul…where you empathize, believe and encourage.

d)Trust is the backbone of any relationship.
It’s a test for the couple at times when insecurities seep in,when your own fears play up,and you still hold on to each other,with determination and belief!

e)Maturity seals the bond.Being mature in a relationship is when there is mutual respect,understanding and oneness.Mature couples are the one’s that accept each other  as a whole,the past ,the present and working towards building a  future they dream of !

Daisy❤
(29th Oct’2019/13:32 noon)

Change is the only Constant ,but when it is constantly on the deterioration it needs to be addressed.

Sabhyachaar,Shishtachaar,Adar ,Satkar
(etiquette ,civility,respect,to honour )are synonyms to Our Indian way of life.These virtues are sadly fading away today.

We Indians crib a lot,but never do we introspect ‘Why’?

With the onslaught of the social media,with the world just a click away,with the comfort of being hidden behind our gadgets…we vomit!
Today ,there are no boundaries what so ever .
You are free to write whatever you please,on a public forum and that too without any consequences.

Each and every post on a public forum is filled with filth.Language used is totally  incomprehensible. The lines of decency have been brutally squashed.

Debates in our times  used to be solely on the topic given.Today I see abuses hurled on someone’s Mother…sisters….the filthiest of filth splashed all over ,it could be a simple bollywood post!

I do not just blame the youngsters today ,they learn from what they see.The adults lead and the young follow.
Why do you have to swear ,used bad language to put your point across ?
Is your argument so weak ?

The public posts are like treading into a neighbourhood of hooligans,where there has been no education to tell them a right from a wrong.

What you are with your friends,your age mates ,you CANNOT be with the entire world. The decorum needs to be maintained.

The chivaliry &the feminity ,the love and the respect are all the virtues of a bygone era ,or so it seems.

Girls swearing openly ,does that make you believe you are strong ?Does that make you believe you are at par with men?
Then THIS itself is the issue.What made you believe you are lesser than them in the first place ??!!

Men hurling abuses at women ,how does that make you the stronger one?It just shows the level of stupidity there.

Anyone abusing on a public platform,is such a dampner.There is a bigger threat here which we choose to either ignore or are ignorant about.

• Where does this anger come from ?
• Why are we ready to pounce at the word go?
• Why are we so judgemental ?
• Why are we so unforgiving ?

It all stems from the family values crumbling under pressures of todays world.

It stems from a NEED !
the need to be heard ,the need to be loved,the need to be acknowledged, the need to be aprreciated ,the need to be noticed & the need to be validated !

Earlier,the families that lived together,’Lived’ together.There were some check lists .The children’s  activities were monitered.Everything came to you at the right time.With age comes the understanding and ability to handle things.

How many parents today keep an eye on their kids activities, their friend circle,their lifestyle and most important what n who they become on social media?The impact of this so called privacy and  freedom are serious.

The innocence is gone !

The Sabhyachaar is gone !

This anger ,these outburts,this uninhabited behaviour becomes the soul of a society .And it’s  getting darker by the day.

This is the India that needs to be saved.

Daisy ?
6th june 19….(12:25 pm)

Today as I sit down to write, my heart silently whispers a prayer for All such Men ,who suffer in silence .

M MACHO ?️‍♂️
E EMPATHETIC?‍♂️
N NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED !?‍♂️

MEN ARE ABUSED TOO !

ABUSE is a very toxic trait slithering its way into people’s lives and changing it forever,leaving deep scars …as it slithers away …(if you are lucky)!

So how does it make it any different for men ?
The SOCIETY,Yes ,with its rigid definitions and expectations.As per a study 2 out of every 5 Victims of Domestic Violence are Men.

The prejudice against Men :

He is not supposed to cry out for help even if a thorn pierces his soul,life oozing out as he lies there helplessly bleeding …

*Don be sissy,why are you crying (like a woman ),c’mon be a man can’t you control one woman so on so forth …are some of the” supposed to Bs” hurled at him carelessly.

Inside that macho body lives a sensitive soul too.A soul that thrives on good emotions like love,acceptence,appreciation and above all Respect.There is a lil boy there who loves to be cuddled ,his hair ruffled ,his cheeks kissed and his soul treasured!Yes he craves all your attention ,would shy away from accepting it but he does !

…&Then

This little boy gets a partner with stars in his eyes and dreams untold,for a life filled with beauty and togetherness.
Suddenly the ride becomes a little bumpy,oh it happens!Life is after all, all about ups and downs,he reasons.

Days go by,years go by…something feels amiss…

He looks back ,sees the lil boy sitting in a corner,tears have left a dark muddy trail on his pale cheeks …his wrinkled coat hanging aimlessly on his drooping shoulders…and The Smile wiped out !!!

He is confused ,as thats what he has been all these years…he is unable to recognize himself!Something hurts deep inside …
Slowly each piece of the jigsaw puzzle… (yea thats what his life felt )started falling into place.

He had lost himself to an abusive relationship.
(Abuse can be Emotional /Physical/Sexual/Financial/Verbal)

*The most difficult part & the First step to your liberation is Identifying that the relationship is abusive.
Here are a few tips :

1)VERBAL ABUSE:
*Discussions each time escalate to levels of shouting ,yelling,name calling ,belittling .Verbal Abuse is worse,the scars left are deep,though never seen.If you feel confused and end up convincing yourself that it was all your fault that things blew out of proportions and apologise each time,you are in an abusive relationship.

2)EMOTIONAL ABUSE:

a)Manipulation :
*When you are lied to,manipulated ,repeatedly to always have their way.
*Smooth talker,plays with your emotions,will say things that you want to hear and slowly turn everything around to suit them. Denies having said things when you confront them about their prior commitments.

b)Gaslighting :

*Your feelings ,needs are never a matter of concern.You feel you are always walking on egg shells around them.Anything you say or do can trigger the outburts .
Its a rollar coaster of emotions,one day they are very loving and caring , expressive and the next thy turn all cold and unapproachable.And when you are told its all your fault.

*Always apologising.

*Wonder if you are being over sensitive for feeling the way you do.You know something is not right but can’t put your finger on it.

*Making excuses for your partner.Avoiding queries from friends and family not to give away the reality of your partner.Putting up a brave front ,pretending all is well.

*You no longer feel the person you used to be .Less confident and more anxious.

*Hard to make decisions.

*Hopeless. Nothing excites you anymore.Your hobbies have taken a back seat.The activities you enjoyed earlier do not make you happy anymore.

c)Criticism:

*Brainwashing you to feel worthless.Your beliefs ,ambitions are rediculed.
*Calling you names,belittling, humiliating ,lacks respect.
*Makes you doubt your sanity.

d)Isolation:

*Is either over protective or displays extreme jealousy patterns.
*Too demading ,irrational need to keep you to themselves denying you the right to meet friends and family.
*Will get emotionally distant to control you.
*Will never approve of any relationship you have (work /personal)

e)Controlling:

*Will decide everything ,from what you eat to how you dress up,do your hair .Will make you feel bad if you don’t to the extent that you start doubting yourself.

f)Sabotage:

*Will make you miss important occassions ,work,any activity that you like.Having a meltdown,sudden health issues,Hiding your car keys or making other abrupt plans just to disrupt yours.

g)Blame:

*Constant blame game so that you feel guilty all the time.Accuses you of having a bad memory.

h)Anger:

*Over reacting and sudden outbursts .Picks up a fight at little or just no provocation.
*You live in constant fear to blowing things out of proportion.
*So you give in,apologise and end up feeling hurt ,humiliated and confused.Contradictory thoughts all fog up the mind for you know it wasnt your fault.

3)ECONOMIC ABUSE:

*Controls the finances to the extent of blocking you from accessing it.
*Controls what and how you spend your own money.
*Trivilizes your choices and wishes to procure some thing. Will convince you that its a waste of money ,or a bad choice.

4)PHYSICAL ABUSE:

*Destroyspersonal property.
*Throws things around.
*Pushes you around,chokes or bites,punches,hurts.
*Threatens to harm children ,pets.
*Threatens to divorce /seperate just to destabalise you.
*Self harm.
*Sexual proximity either denied or forced.

If You My Friend are dealing with this ,
Just know IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT !
If these signs are there ,seek help,talk to anyone you trust…ABUSE IS NEVER OK !

If anyone you know is struggling ,please be more empathetic.
Lend a patient ear.
Do not make fun or doubt his masculinity.
Do not judge.
Help him identify ,friends are the first ones to know ,help him speak up,seek professional help …just dont leave him alone.
Be there …pull him out slowly.

EACH LIFE DESERVES DIGNITY !

Love
Daisy ❣